AnTai

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Let’s face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
(via be-killed)

(Source: -sorry, via angelophile)

Filed under english paradox poetry

51,301 notes

mercenary-tributary:


a spirit that preys on the insecurities of young girls. on approaching one, it whispers venomously backhanded compliments, and delivers unneeded, often damaging advice in order to undermine the girl’s confidence and control her so that she may be devoured easily by the spirit.
the best way to ward it off is to appear unfazed by its insidious manipulations and stare directly into its great, luminous eyes until it gets uncomfortable and leaves.

mercenary-tributary:

a spirit that preys on the insecurities of young girls. on approaching one, it whispers venomously backhanded compliments, and delivers unneeded, often damaging advice in order to undermine the girl’s confidence and control her so that she may be devoured easily by the spirit.

the best way to ward it off is to appear unfazed by its insidious manipulations and stare directly into its great, luminous eyes until it gets uncomfortable and leaves.

(via batlesbo)

54,898 notes

coolsciencegifs:

Polymer absorbs water and expands. It keeps almost the same refractive properties as water and appears invisible.

The polymer is Sodium Polyacrylate (thank you, thecraftychemist!)

source

Dump a truck load of these in a swimming pool for a good laugh :-D

(via mineapostasy)